


Tell Me Your Secrets and Ask Me Your Questions

by harryboutno



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M, Slash, Smut, a little philosophy, maybe some cheeky lyrical imput, possible angst, possible fluff (a lot of it), scientist!harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryboutno/pseuds/harryboutno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis subconsciously seeks answers to questions he can't answer and is a firm believer in everything having a purpose. Zayn brings it upon himself to shag the manager of the laboratory, but ends up falling helplessly in love somewhere along the way. Louis' big answer may be closer than he originally anticipated. Niall just generally loves life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I basically got an idea and rolled with it. No beta on this little gem so if you spot any mistakes or anything, do let me know and I will try to only get semi-embarrassed before correcting. If you spot bits and pieces that look dangerously similar to Coldplay lyrics from 'The Scientist', then they probably are exactly that. I hope you enjoy; please bear in mind this is my first proper fic, so some bits may not be amazing. I apologise in advance.
> 
> Disclaimer: I made this up, it's not real, I am not making any claims or statements about the characters involved. I don't know One Direction (but don't we all wish we did) and this is all absolute fiction.
> 
> Lastly, I just want to say that I will try to update weekly, unless I state otherwise. That is all.
> 
> Okay here we go..

A lot of the time, Louis was in a state of mind which sent him on a trip down a million mental constellations of wonder and contemplation. He himself wouldn’t even call it curiosity – he didn’t know what he was searching for, but he had many questions whose answers could, maybe one day, carve his path to a grand conclusion, like a major metamorphic realisation. Or something.

While conscious, he was usually able to push his pondering to the back of his mind, so he could go about daily activities without the fear of a potentially life-changing element snapping into place and crashing down on him. He paid attention to detail; the smallest things in life were known to matter the most, the most insignificant of actions still sparked some kind of reaction. Louis thought his conscious mind was quite aware of those things, but it was nothing compared to the vivid intensity of his dreams. When Louis wasn’t fully in charge of his brain’s activity, his metaphorical train of thoughts practically derailed and exploded into a kaleidoscope of colourful flashes of questions to which he hadn’t yet found answers.

_Why does everything fall apart?_

His ponderous mind brought him back to that question a lot lately; it was such a simple one yet Louis couldn’t find an adequate enough answer.

 _Because it does._ Not good enough.

Louis was brought out of his slumber as he felt something hard hit his shoulderblade, causing him to grumble unhappily into his pillow. ‘Jesus, Zayn, I’m up.’ He managed to utter out, head still spinning wildly with the remainder of his vivid dreams.

‘You said that about half an hour ago,’ Zayn said from some distance away, not sounding pleased at all, ‘we’ll be late.’

Louis ran his hand over the sheets in search of the object he had been rudely assaulted by, and found himself leaning up on his arm to actually look at it as his hand adjusted to the quite familiar bottle shape.

‘Wow, didn’t realise you were eager to take that step in our relationship,’ Louis said, holding the bottle of lube up for reference.

‘Found it on the floor by the door,’ Zayn answered, as unfazed by Louis’ slightly sarcastic remarks as ever. ‘I should probably be wondering what it was doing there.’ From where Louis was now sitting up in bed, he saw Zayn wiggling his eyebrows suggestively by the door.

‘Do you really want to know?’ He asked.

‘No.’

The thing with Zayn was that he was compassionate in a way that suited them both. He was really good to live with (apart from when he was dragging Louis out of bed at some ridiculous hour of the morning), because he didn’t get in the way like other people did. He was there when Louis was having a particularly bad day and served his best friend duty as appropriate, but he respected Louis’ desire for privacy. Louis didn’t know how he deserved a friend like Zayn, but maybe he was a bit too selfish to give him up.

‘So, why exactly am I coming with you?’ Louis asked over his burnt breakfast of cheese on toast.

‘Well I can’t go on my _own,_ ’ Zayn said, a hint of outrage colouring his expression. ‘It’s my first day, you could cut me some slack.’

‘But it’s your _job,’_ Louis reminded him, dropping his toast onto the plate in disgust and picking up his cup of tea instead. Tea was pretty much the only cuisine-related thing he could make without the threat of food poisoning.

Zayn’s new job was actually the reason they moved to London in the first place. About a month or so ago, Louis had no clue that a ‘laboratory inspector’ was an actual profession, but when Zayn ran into his room at their old flat on one sunny afternoon, and screamed for ten minutes that he got a call back from the employer ( _‘You applied for a job?’, ‘Yes, you twat, pay attention.’),_ he accepted it as a real occupation. They contacted a few people, signed a few papers and a few weeks later, they were driving down the A1, hopeful for the future and half-heartedly trying to obliterate the past.

‘At least I have a job,’ came Zayn’s answer, and although there was no malice behind his words, Louis knew he wasn’t too happy that he was the only one working towards the rent at the moment.

‘That’s not fair,’ Louis quipped, setting his cup of tea back on the table, ‘I worked at that restaurant round the corner last week.’

‘Yes,’ Zayn agreed, ‘but you got fired for sleeping with that waiter.’

‘He was eager and closeted. It wasn’t my kind of thing anyway,’ Louis said, waving his hand in the air dismissively. He found the job highly dissatisfying - he felt like there was more to him than serving meals he didn’t cook and collecting bills he wouldn’t keep. At twenty-three, perhaps he should know what he wanted to do, but he seemed to not be able to find his purpose. Admittedly, he did feel terrible that Zayn was working for them both, but he did try. It just didn’t work sometimes. Looking at it from that perspective, the least he could do was accompany Zayn on his first day of work. ‘I’ll try for that job at Asda, or something.’

Zayn nodded and patted him on the shoulder as he passed him, walking out of the kitchen, and, if he didn’t believe Louis’ promise, he didn’t mention it. Louis didn’t blame him anyway.

Zayn was an amazing best mate, really.

 

\---

 

‘What does this job even entail?’ Louis wondered as they stepped through a big, revolving door and into a large, open-plan space. The London Toxicology Laboratory proved to be a fairly modern-looking, large building, situated in the north-east of the city. Louis felt completely lost in this setting, as he was never majorly into science and everything looked expensive and confusingly complex.

‘I have to check that the safety measures are adequate and all that,’ Zayn replied, looking quite smart with his pen and clipboard, yet still managing to maintain his classy, neat appearance.

‘And what do I do?’

‘Walk around and pretend you know what you’re doing.’ Zayn said, and yeah, Louis decided that sounded fairly straightforward. He could do that.

‘I’m pretty sure this is illegal,’ was Louis’ last argument. Zayn chose to ignore it, and Louis took it as confirmation.

They made their way towards what appeared to be the front desk, behind which a bored-looking middle aged woman sat. She looked up lazily at the sound of their approach. ‘Can I help you?’ She didn’t sound like she was willing to help at all.

‘Yes, actually,’ Zayn said, sounding way more friendly than Louis knew he would, ‘I’m from the Inspection Company. I’m here to perform the quality checks?’

There was no response, but the woman dialled a number on the phone that sat on the desk and muttered information into the receiver. Louis assumed that she was talking to the manager but he couldn’t be sure because the quick conversation was already over.

She stood up and walked around the desk and towards a door on the side. ‘Do follow,’ she commanded, and Louis didn’t like the patronising tone of her voice, but Zayn was already shuffling along and Louis couldn’t just leave him.

The trio walked through the door in silence, and entered a dimly lit room full of shelves and hooks. It was very unprofessional-looking compared to everything else about the building, and Louis thought its messiness replicated his bedroom. It made him feel slightly less uncomfortable, if he ignored the awkwardness of the silence that ensued as the woman from the front desk made her way to the back of the room while Louis and Zayn hesitated by the door they just walked through. She came back a moment later, two long robe-like things slung over her arm and two pairs of goggles in hand. Louis watched her as she handed one each of both to him and Zayn in slight disgust.

‘These are horrible,’ He commented aloud, turning the goggles over in his hands.

‘ _Louis_ ,’ Zayn said, exasperated, as he put his arms through the sleeves of his lab coat. The front desk woman watched on with a look of pitiful satisfaction on her face. Louis decided she was a bitch.

So Louis sighed and slipped his own lab coat on, before shoving his goggles on too, ignoring how hideous he probably looked. Whatever, he wasn’t here to pull or impress, anyway. Zayn offered him a grateful smile and Louis returned it, reluctantly following the woman back out the door.

This time, the spacious area wasn’t deserted; a smart-looking man stood by the front desk, already smiling at them, and Louis was quite grateful that perhaps not everyone here was a pretentious wanker. He had brown hair, styled in a short quiff and gentle, kind brown eyes. Louis decided that he probably wasn’t the manager – he looked young, probably in his early twenties.

‘Hello,’ He said, voice as gentle as his eyes. Louis thought he looked like a puppy. ‘My name is Liam Payne, I’m the manager of the London Toxicology Laboratory.’

So, apparently he was the manager. Louis’ mind had already come up with a few questions as to how, but they probably weren’t appropriate enough to be voiced.

The manager, Liam, extended his hand and Zayn stepped forward to shake it eagerly, looking at Liam like he was the most precious thing he had seen in his whole life. Louis knew that look. Louis was definitely going to mock him for it for the next ten years.

‘Zayn Malik,’ Zayn introduced himself, voice a few octaves higher than usual, and it was almost too funny to be true. ‘Uh, from the Inspection Company.’

Liam smiled at him genuinely, seeming unfazed by Zayn’s helpless swooning. Louis shook his head and stepped forward.

‘Louis Tomlinson,’ he said, giving Liam’s hand a quick shake and adding a smile, too, because being nice never hurt anyone. Also, Zayn’s job was at stake.

‘He’s my assistant,’ Zayn intervened. Louis nodded as if it was true, and Liam smiled again as if he believed it.

‘Wonderful,’ Liam said, and seemed to mean it. Louis decided his constant positivity would soon start to offend him. ‘Please, be my guests and follow me this way.’

Louis sighed at the sight of Zayn immediately falling into step with Liam and blabbing away about one pointless thing or another, nevertheless he followed them through the expanse of the large entry room and into a long corridor with numerous doors on either side. He wondered what was behind those doors. He wondered where they were going. He wondered if it mattered.

Finally, they reached the end of the corridor and Louis was so deep in thought that he very nearly stumbled into Liam, who was producing a set of keys from his trouser pocket and inserting one into the door. Zayn was staring at him like the statement he was about to make abandoned him. Along with his dignity.

‘So, Zayn,’ Liam began as he opened the door carefully. Liam seemed like the kind of person that repeatedly checked the sockets were switched off before leaving his house every morning, and Louis wondered whether he should find it endearing or annoying. ‘I believe I’ve got some paper work you need to take a look at.’

‘Oh yes,’ Zayn said, and Louis wondered whether he was completely clueless or if he was just incredibly happy to spend another ten minutes in Liam’s presence. ‘So, um, am I signing anything, or?’ Both, Louis decided.

‘Yeah, it might be convenient for you to just come in and get started,’ Liam explained. ‘Seeing as you brought your assistant- sorry, Louis- seeing as you brought Louis with you, he could start the inspection procedure.’

Louis’ eyes went wide. He had no idea what he was doing, Zayn said he wouldn’t have to do anything, he wasn’t qualified to be doing this. He blinked. ‘Uh, yeah, of course.’ He said after clearing his throat.

Louis shot Zayn a brief weary look, but he doubted Zayn even caught it. Zayn was too busy being visibly ecstatic that he will be left alone with Liam, and Louis’ hands were already closing around the clipboard and pen that were thrust into them. This wasn’t going to end well at all.

‘We will join you when all the papers are signed,’ Liam assured, looking concerned at Louis’ poorly disguised distress. He gave him a warm smile and then he was following Zayn into his office, and Louis was left alone with the strangely intimidating silence of the long corridor.

He sighed as he regained his composure and set off down the hall towards the first door on the left. It held a silver plaque which read ‘LAB 1’. Louis supposed that this was the appropriate place to start, and inhaled deeply once more before baring his hand down on the handle and swinging the door open with maybe a bit too much force.

The brightly lit room he burst into juxtaposed the dark hallway; the whole ceiling was illuminated with white light that shone down onto the floor, tables, cupboards, shelves. There was a buzz of soft sound of voices of the people bustling around the room, looking busy and important in their white lab coats, carrying test tubes and bottles of dangerous-looking liquids. The blinds in the room were rolled all the way down and covered the windows on the far wall, preventing any natural light from seeping in. The floor wasn’t very clean; it looked like it had lived its better days, judging by the mysterious black marks and beige stains covering almost the whole surface. The smell in the lab room was a strange mixture of burning acid, acetone and sulphur, the kind of thing that was likely to make you either dizzy or sick after a while.

Louis probably should have noticed those things when he stepped inside.

He could have noticed how the light flickered a bit in the left corner, or wondered what the group of people on the right were chatting about in excited voices. Perhaps he should have looked down at his clipboard for a hint of what he needed to do here.

But Louis’ mind refused to make those discoveries as soon as the door closed with a soft _thud_ and he noticed the curly-haired figure directly in front of him, leaning over a microscope and peering into it with a thoughtful expression. The boy that caught Louis’ interest looked totally unfamiliar but something about him made Louis want to stare for a while longer, as if he was making sure they hadn’t met before. Maybe that was just an excuse to watch him for a moment or two, though Louis would never admit to it. Dignity, and all that.

Louis observed the way he expertly moved his large hand to place on the nosepiece of the microscope and watched his fingers tense slightly as he twisted it, and Louis could think of many other, slightly more inappropriate things those hands were probably capable of, but _okay_. His forehead creased in concentration and Louis wanted to write sonnets about the smooth expanse of his face and the rosy pink shade in his cheeks. Louis definitely wasn’t that sickeningly cheesy. Or a poet.

The boy he was shamelessly staring at looked fairly young, but Louis saw an aura of _wisdom_ around him. A cloud of intelligence. A fog of knowledge. And in that moment, all Louis really wanted was to be granted access to even the tiniest fraction of that visible joy and treasure it, tuck it away somewhere private where he could quietly appreciate it.

Louis definitely did _not_ momentarily fantasise about kissing him, no. Definitely not.

Louis had only been in Lab 1 for all of two minutes, and, quite honestly, he was acutely aware that he was quite _fucked._

Just as he barely recollected himself and dropped his gaze to the dirty floor, he heard a deep, raspy voice above the buzz of noise from the huddle of bodies on the right side of the room, and something may or may not have twitched a bit inside him. ‘Um, can I help you with anything?’, As Louis dragged his gaze back up way too eagerly, he saw murky green eyes and flushed cheeks gazing at him or maybe into him – it was kind of painful really, in the best of ways. Louis found himself longing for the bittersweet gaze, although it hadn’t even left him yet.

The boy smiled and hot, raspy voice aside, but was that a _fucking dimple_?

Yes, Louis was definitely fucked.

‘Uh, I have to inspect a few, er, things.’ Louis mentally punched himself in the face three times for the unsure tone of his voice. How dare his incontestable bravado abandon him now. _Get it together, Tomlinson._ He regained control over his hands and waved the clipboard in the air for statement’s sake.

‘You don’t sound too convinced.’ Green Eyes answered, smile growing wider, and Louis has seen a lot of people smiling, but no one’s face lit up with it quite as much. It was kind of very fascinating.

Without planning to, Louis found himself walking forward, towards Raspy Voice Dimple Boy. He set his clipboard on the lab table, behind the boy’s microscope. They were noticeably closer, only a metre or two between them, and Louis found himself unconsciously returning the smile.

‘It’s kind of my mate’s job, really,’ Louis confessed, because why the hell not? Curly Hair over here didn’t particularly look like a snitch. What are trust issues anyway? Louis was unsure what his emotions were doing. ‘He’s chatting up your boss.’

‘Chatting up _Liam Payne?_ ’ Curly Dimple’s eyes widened in shock.

‘I know, he’s kind of on the fence. I’m not a hundred percent sure of his preferences,’ Louis answered truthfully.

‘No, no, it’s not that,’ Curly Green Eyes said, looking mildly offended at the assumption, ‘Liam doesn’t seem like the kind of person, that’s all.’

‘Ah,’ Louis could roll with that, too. ‘I see.’ He was aware that perhaps ogling someone differed from polite eye contact during a conversation, but he wasn’t really aware that he was staring until the door behind him burst open loudly and maybe Louis was grateful for the distraction.

‘Harry, mate, alright?’ The voice obtained a heavy accent which Louis guessed was Irish, and held a friendly enthusiasm.

The new presence in the room barely registered with Louis’ brain. _Harry_. Curly Dimple Green Eyes’ name was _Harry_.

‘Late again, then, Niall,’ Harry stated but there was no heat behind it, just a matter-of-fact statement. So they must have been friends, then. Louis forced his eyes to look away from Harry’s face and turned his head around reluctantly to the guy that had come in.

The Irish lad – _Niall_ \- was smiling brightly, as if he had been waiting his whole life to be here, in this lab room with the flickering light in the corner and dirty flooring. He seemed to radiate happiness, and Louis admired his natural aura of joy.

‘Ah, yeah, sorry mate,’ Niall spoke, glancing down, ‘Stopped by McDonalds to get meself a bacon sandwich.’ He was, indeed, holding a paper McDonalds bag in his hand. He seemed to be making love-eyes at it.

‘You haven’t missed much.’ Was Harry’s answer.

Niall nodded, still smiling, and pulled his bacon sandwich out of the bag as he sat on one of the chairs scattered by the table.

‘I thought you weren’t supposed to eat in a science lab,’ Louis found himself saying, confusion taking the better of him. Zayn might have mentioned it in the passing.

‘So did I,’ Harry said, smirking in a way that told Louis that this was routine. Louis reluctantly looked away from the dimple forming on Harry’s cheek and at the clipboard that he remembered he set on the table. Perhaps it was time to get the job done, although Louis felt as though all he was doing was helping Zayn get laid.

‘You’re not gonna get us done for this, are you?’ Niall asked, looking down curiously at the clipboard. He still wore that happy smile, and really, Louis wouldn’t forgive himself if he were to wipe it off his face.

‘Nah, you’re good,’ Louis assured him. ‘It’s common knowledge that you don’t work well previous to a good breakfast.’ He nodded his head at the bacon sandwich for good measure.

Niall’s gaze followed Louis’, and he was now smiling down at the sandwich. So that was the end of that.

Harry was watching the exchange in silence, and Louis tried not to interpret his facial expression as fond, because he didn’t know if his emotions were stable enough to process that.

Louis shifted his weight from one foot to the other, in attempt to coax his body back into working order. He needed to snap out of this.

‘So, Harry,’ he said, glancing between him and the sheet attached to the clipboard. ‘I don’t suppose you could show me the um, washing facility?’ Yes, very professional.

But Harry was smiling again, and Louis was already ditching his dignity in favour of just taking it all in. ‘Only if you tell me your name,’ he said after a moment, ‘it’s only fair.’

Oh yeah, Harry didn’t know Louis’ name. And if it wasn’t for Niall, Louis probably still wouldn’t know Harry’s. Louis’ fondness towards Niall was growing rapidly.

‘Louis.’ He said, ‘My name is Louis.’

‘Well, Louis,’ Harry was already moving from his spot behind the table and walking around it. ‘Would you follow me this way?’

Louis’ feet were already moving, and with a last salute to his sanity, he realised that there probably wasn’t much Harry could ask for that Louis wouldn’t do.

 

___

 

Zayn and Liam ended up joining Louis just as he was leaving Lab 4, having made careful notes he hoped were efficient enough.

To be honest, Louis couldn’t remember much since Lab 1. It was all a tedious blur with a dissatisfying lack of brown curls and easy banter.

‘Procedure going well, I’d hope,’ Liam greeted Louis with a smile. Zayn was still staring at him, barely acknowledging Louis’ presence. It was quite offensive, really.

‘Almost done,’ Louis answered, smiling back and walking towards the next door, the last one on this side of the corridor.

‘Excellent,’ Liam clapped his hands together once, looking rather pleased. Easily satisfied, he was. Louis wondered idly whether Zayn would know.

Louis was accompanied by Liam and Zayn for the rest of the inspection, and he was quite glad he had got the hang of it somewhere between Lab 2 and Lab 4, because it proved to not be as disastrous as he’d anticipated. Zayn looked happy at Louis’ progress, and Louis was quite smug with being a fast learner and all.

Louis tried to banish the thoughts of green eyes and big hands for the rest of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to ask anything or just talk to me (please do), my tumblr URL is harryboutno (funnily enough).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's quite short because it's almost Christmas and I had a thing or two to do (casually rhyming like there's no tomorrow there), forgive me.
> 
> It also may or may not be a bit late... oops.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

The following Friday, Louis drifted into consciousness with distaste not only in his mouth but also his mind. The sharp pain in the back of his skull was already making him feel rather discombobulated and he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to be making a move out of bed anytime soon. He could probably get away with lying in the same spot all day without the world falling upside down.

The nauseous twist in his stomach begged to differ.

He jolted upright, cringing at the stabbing sensation his head was currently sporting. He stumbled into the bathroom and silently thanked God himself for his ensuite, before crouching over the toilet and emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl.

So, maybe Louis and Zayn’s excessive alcohol intake the previous night wasn’t the best idea. The burn in Louis’ throat as he dry heaved now reminded him to promise himself to never drink again, just like so many times before. _I won’t. I swear I won’t._ The twist of sickness in his stomach seemed to immediately detect the blatant lie.

It’s just that Zayn was ecstatic when they got back to the flat the night before. He had successfully finished his first inspection project; the completion of the first task had boosted his mood and confidence to an all time high, it would seem. Zayn was so happy, and Louis craved the feeling so badly that he couldn’t help but feed off it. So he did, and their buzzing energy and loud voices turned into delayed reactions and drunken slurring.

Zayn was _that_ type of drunk. When intoxicated, he confessed everything and anything, hence it didn’t take long before he was mumbling about his very obvious crush on Liam the Laboratory Manager; Louis smiled genuinely, delighted at his best friend’s good mood, and bit his tongue when it threatened to form sentences about curly hair and big hands.

He was not going to talk about Harry. Nor see him again.

Louis was told yesterday that Zayn’s job didn’t only consist of walking around labs, much to his dismay. It involved too much paperwork for Louis’ liking, and too little opportunity to chat up pretty, smart boys.

But, whatever. Even if the chance arose, Louis wouldn’t be accompanying Zayn to the London Toxicology Laboratory again anyway. Zayn knew his way around now, and so would be able to manage without Louis’ useless assistance.

Also, Louis wasn’t _that_ masochistic.

He dragged his head up slowly and slumped against the side of the bath, eyes wet and legs weak. Alcohol was bad. Intelligent boys with pretty green eyes were bad.

Louis’ subconscious mind was sharper than usual when intoxicated last night – he wasn’t too sure whether that contributed to his unbelievable dizziness, but it had hit him hard and left him feeling confused and so, so tired. And that was just ironic, really, because he must have been asleep for a good 12 hours.

He dragged his weak, sticky body up off the floor and opened the tap before splashing cold water on his face and brushing his teeth, while silently wishing he could refresh his mind, too.

It seemed as though Zayn was still asleep, judging by how silent the flat was as Louis made his way into the living room with a glass of water and a painkiller. He slumped into the sofa, which looked just about as wrecked as he felt and turned the TV on, without a conscious intent to actually watch it.

He threw the painkiller in his mouth and gulped down his water, the liquid miraculously cold as it ran down his throat, soothing him a little.

He was going to stay on this damned sofa all day and feel sorry for himself, because honestly, he deserved a break. He would attempt to watch shitty TV programmes and stuff himself with biscuits dunked in tea, once his stomach settled. He would stay right here, where no one would bother him or expect him to do anything.

That intention was shattered as Zayn walked into the room, all tired eyes and dishevelled hair, and slumped beside him with a declaration that made Louis want to bury himself beneath the floorboards:

‘Lou, you’re really gonna need to stock up the kitchen, we’re all out of food.’

Louis had the decency to shift a little where he was sitting, already frowning and prepared to throw a fit.

‘Zayn Malik, can you not see the atrocious state I’m in?’ He asked, running a hand through his fluffy hair and gripping the back of his head where he could still feel a throbbing pain.

‘Stop acting like the stereotypical homosexual that you aren’t,’ Zayn said, twisting his body around to face him just so he could scowl at him, ‘Do you want us to starve?’

‘Twat,’ Louis retorted, ‘Why can’t you go?’

‘I’ve got a job,’ Zayn said, ‘That requires me to hand in paperwork.’

The thought of going outside ever again made Louis feel sick. Actually, his twisting stomach made him feel sick, too. Everything was so sickening.

Instead of pressing the issue further, Louis lifted himself off the couch, wincing as he forced his muscles to move and his legs to carry him to the kitchen, where he opened the fridge with half-decent expectations and watched them disintegrate, as he was met with empty shelves.

The fridge was as empty as his soul.

Fuck everything, honestly.

 

\---

 

Louis pulled his hood further down his face as icy drops of rain hit his nose and forehead and the sky frowned at him from above, as if it was personally upset with him. If it wasn’t for his current state, maybe he would argue his case, but all he wanted right now was a hot cup of tea and his bed.

He dragged his feet along the pavement, down a road to the left and then the right, at the end of which he knew was a local Sainsbury’s. The streets were empty, save for an umbrella owner here and there, and the air was cold and bitter. A bit like himself at the moment, then.

As he stepped through the sliding doors of the supermarket, and his fingers began defrosting, he almost decided that this day wasn’t as terrible as he initially anticipated. Almost.

He grabbed a basket from the side and made his way down the first aisle, shoving random bags of fruit in without giving it much thought. The chilled aisle was pretty much the same – throwing in ready meals and ingredients for meals that required minimal cooking knowledge. He was starting to relax, weirdly enough, as he manoeuvred around the store, his headache much less prominent, thank God, and his nausea fading.

But just as he had taken baby steps to feeling better, he was pushed right back to the starting line as he wandered over to the alcohols and spotted a way-too-familiar mop of curls in the otherwise deserted aisle. After a quick quadruple-take, Louis was still deciding whether he should turn right round and walk, shuffle, _run_ over to the checkouts to seek sweet escape.

The problem was, his feet were rooted to the floor and as he was lacking common sense as usual, all he could do was stand and gawk as Harry looked up from the label of some fancy-looking wine he was holding and met Louis’ deer-in-the-headlights stare. And then Louis was sure he hated him, because he was brought back to Lab 1 a few days prior as Harry’s mouth stretched into a smile that was so genuine it lit up his entire face.

Louis may or may not have choked on air.

‘Louis?’ Harry was walking over now, and Louis’ conscience was screaming at him to _move, just fucking do something_ , but he just stood there, probably embarrassing himself and everyone else in the store.

‘Harry, hey,’ He heard his voice say, and was quite impressed with how strong it sounded. Much stronger than he felt. Nearly nonchalant.

‘Fancy seeing you here,’ Harry said, only inches away from Louis now and what-

Harry pulled Louis into a quick hug, rubbing his back once as if he knew how unstable Louis felt before letting go and stepping back, smile still on his face and wearing that same aura of effortless happiness.

‘Yep, can always count on finding me in the booze aisle,’ Louis said, weak humour all he had left to offer, thankfully earning a laugh from Harry.

‘Funny guy,’ Harry was still chuckling, as easily amused as Louis remembered. Harry really needed to stop smiling because the dimples were too much for Louis to handle, but he also needed to keep smiling because his smile lit up the whole of England.

‘You don’t seem the hopeless alcoholic that I am, though,’ the tone of Louis’ voice edged the phrase towards a question. His gaze finally dropped down to the bottle Harry was still holding, and the momentary distraction allowed Louis to take a few calmer breaths.

‘Oh, no, I mean, yeah, I drink, but I don’t usually make this much of an effort,’ Harry stumbled over his words and it definitely shouldn’t be but it was cute as fuck and Louis wanted to cry. ‘Niall’s got a housewarming party tonight, so I feel like I should bring something nice to the table.’

Oh yeah, Niall, the Irish guy. Louis remembered him.

‘I would have taken Niall as more of a Guinness type of guy,’ Louis was really proud of himself that his helpless inner swoon wasn’t showing as hard as he would think.

‘Oh he is,’ Harry said, grinning yet again. ‘I just thought, you know, occasion calls for posh drinks and all that.’ He shrugged, looking down at the beverage once more.

‘I guess you’re right,’ Louis said, wondering once again how he ended up here, in the alcohol aisle of a supermarket with a guy he would definitely like to fuck – _no,_ Louis dragged his mind away from the fantasy – whilst probably looking like utter shit, and honestly, why did the world hate him?

‘Do you wanna come?’ Harry’s question came so suddenly that Louis wasn’t sure he heard right, and he made the terrible mistake of looking up and meeting Harry’s gaze; the intense look he was giving him made Louis feel all hot and bothered and he should definitely be running right about now, but his stupid feet were still stuck to the same spot and his stupid brain refused to focus on anything but the pretty boy in front of him.

No, Louis wasn’t going to go.

‘Um, I don’t really know Niall too well...’ Louis began, hesitating.

‘Oh, well he took a shine to you when you didn’t rat him out for breaking the lab rules,’ Harry said, ‘you’re technically best pals.’

_Louis wasn’t going to go._

‘What time?’ He blurted out, and as his stupidity registered with him, he mentally kicked himself in the face twenty times. Honestly, he was just barely recovering from a hangover and he was already embracing the opportunity for another one. He felt a bit better – or maybe a lot worse – when he was momentarily blinded with the brightness of Harry’s grin, which seemed to be his trademark.

‘About 8, Niall said,’ Harry replied, pulling out his phone, ‘don’t know the address yet though, uh, he’s meant to text it to me later. So I’ll pass it along to you?’

Louis caught on to what Harry was asking as his phone was shoved into his hand and he stared at the blank ‘new contact’ page for a few seconds too long before urging his fingers to move. He scanned his number through with his eyes three times before handing Harry’s phone back to him, feeling immensely pleased with himself. He left the flat with a shitty mood and hangover and would be returning with food _and_ party plans that included seeing Harry again. He vowed to himself to remember to thank Zayn profusely for making him to walk his arse over to the store, because, internal struggles aside, this was a definite _win._

‘Great, I’ll be seeing you soon, then, Louis,’ Harry said, already walking backwards and away which gave Louis an opportunity to breathe in properly for the first time in the past five minutes.

‘Yeah, see you tonight,’ Louis managed to choke out, also realising he had a smile possibly permanently moulded into his face as he turned around and grabbed a crate of beer to  cheerfully shove into his basket. Harry turned the corner and disappeared out of sight, but this time Louis knew he would be seeing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up on tumblr at harryboutno and we can be pals


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is actually unacceptable how long it has been since I last updated and I am literally the worst person ever and I am sorry to the people that actually read this because I am a nuisance. BUT I did have revision and things to do so I really am sorry and I am writing again so hopefully there won't be a horrendously long period of time in between chapters again. This chapter is also not as long as I'd like it to be but I wanted to update because I felt really bad to here it is.

Louis had barged back into the flat all smiles and childish excitement, dropping the shopping bags by the kitchen door and embracing Zayn, who had returned from his workplace and looked at him like he had officially gone insane. Louis supposed he could probably agree; he was feeling more deranged with every passing second.

When questioned, he told Zayn that he was really thankful that some magical spark of fate somewhere brought him the opportunity to appreciate and befriend someone like him.

Zayn had patted his shoulder before moving past him and lifting the bags off the floor where Louis had abandoned them, then proceeded into the kitchen. Louis was still smiling like a madman.

Now, after a ridiculously slow day, multiple outfit changes, and a text from Harry which read _‘If you still fancy a taste of my ‘posh wine’’_ (and caused Louis’ mind to race ahead with various innuendos to fit the situation) along with Niall’s address, Louis was geared up, twitchy, and ready to go.

After another glance at the wall clock, he decided it was probably acceptable to leave now, and grabbed his keys, wallet and phone off the side before sliding on a pair of black Vans and a jean jacket. Another swift glance in the wall mirror later, he was out the door and locking it with an eager twitch to his fingers. Apparently, Niall’s new home seemed to be located not far from Louis and Zayn’s flat, so Louis deemed that a sensible walking distance – he wasn’t sure it would be later, if he was getting smashed. Maybe. Probably not.

It had stopped raining, he realised as he stepped outside, and it was dark; the light from the streetlamps overhead illuminated the damp road with reflections of the surrounding brightly-lit buildings and cars’ headlights, and Louis breathed in deep as he took every little detail of the night in, for memory’s sake.

The thing was that Louis had no idea what was going to happen tonight. No idea whatsoever. He had only known Harry for about a week; more importantly, he had only seen him twice, and both occasions added up to maybe an hour and a half’s worth of mindless socialising. But, on both occasions, Harry had shown nothing but joyful geniality towards him. Harry radiated an addictive kind of _warmth_ and although Louis didn’t understand it at all, he had to admit he craved it quite a bit.

Now, as he made his way down the somewhat subdued part of the city, to a party organised by Niall (who he had only met once), it all seemed strange in the best kind of way. He had no idea what was going to happen. But maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

Louis’ feet eventually carried him to the doorstep of what he assumed was Niall’s new home, judging by the repetitive _thump_ of bass shaking the building. He took one deep breath before pulling his phone out to text Harry, as there was no way knocking was going to be of any use.

‘Outside J x’

After forcing himself to press send and attempting to calm his breathing for a good fifty seconds, fingers fidgeting with the sleeves on his jacket, the door opened and the noise from inside hit him hard, bass thumping and people screaming over the music in hopes to be heard by their plus ones.

Yeah the noise hit him hard. As did the sight of Harry; dressed in his signature skinny jeans and a plaid unbuttoned shirt over a white t-shirt, hair pushed back in his own quiff-ish style,  a big smile on his face. Obviously.

Louis could only hope he wasn’t salivating.

‘Louis!’ He exclaimed, pulling Louis inside before he could even respond. Success – he didn’t trip over the doorstep, thank God.

‘Harry, hi,’ He eventually managed to respond, returning the smile and taking the chance to look around the crowded hallway. The floor looked polished, wooden floorboards stretching up to the walls which were painted a dark, pleasant shade of red, giving the space an overall cosy feel.

Louis’ initial opinions on this ‘housewarming party’ definitely did not match his expectations. Or maybe they did. But they didn’t match Harry’s goddamn _wine_ of all things, and in that moment, Louis decided that Harry was an idiot.

‘Let’s go get you a drink,’ Harry said, pulling on Louis’ arm again, dragging him further into the house, the music getting even louder. They walked through a doorway into a brightly lit room, and, as his eyes registered, Louis realised it must be the kitchen. His eyes found Niall, the only familiar face there other than Harry’s, chatting up a group of girls in the corner with a pint in hand. He was soon looking away, though, as a shot was placed in his hand. He turned to look at Harry again, who had already knocked his shot back and was reaching for another one. And fuck it, Louis needed to get some alcohol in his system if he was spending the evening in Harry’s presence, so his hand travelled up and as the cool glass reached his lips, he tilted his head back quickly and swallowed as the taste of whiskey hit his tongue.

He was already on his third shot when he heard a familiar voice above the noise. ‘Hey, you’re that inspector guy, right?’ Louis looked up to meet none other than Niall’s gaze, and if he was feeling kind of drunk already, no one had to know.

‘Yep, that’s me,’ Louis confirmed, smiling wide at him. Niall grabbed two pints off the counter and handed one to him before patting his shoulder.

‘Good lad,’ He said.

‘Nice place,’ Louis said, gesturing around the room, mainly to be polite. It was really quite nice though, from the little of it he’d seen.

‘Thanks man,’ Niall said, ‘definitely better than my last one, I tell ya.’ He grinned, looking to the side of Louis. Ah yes, Harry was still there. Harry. Harry was everywhere and it was overwhelming.

‘Oi, cheeky bastard,’ Harry said, but grinned nonetheless, and Louis began sipping on his lager eagerly, because Harry was still too pretty and Louis was still too sober.

‘Nah, you know I love ya,’ Niall ruffled Harry’s hair with his free hand, definitely a bit buzzed judging by his dopey grin and hazy eyes.

Louis looked between the two, confusion evident in the way his eyebrows scrunched up. Niall must have noticed, as he was quick to explain; ‘We used to be flatmates,’ he said, shrugging and bringing his pint glass up to his lips.

That would make sense.

Louis was beginning to appreciate Niall’s carefree personality and easy banter. He seemed like one of those people who sailed seamlessly through life, experiencing more ups than downs and succeeding with minimal effort. Yeah, Louis was never one of those people. But he admired such quality when he saw it.

A petite girl subtly ran a hand down Niall’s arm, causing him to divert his attention away from Louis and Harry. Well, ‘subtle’ perhaps should be a word used loosely in this case as the room was packed and frankly quite dark; for all they knew, she could have probably grabbed his crotch and no one was likely to even notice. Perhaps that was an idea Louis could try out on Harry. Probably not. Louis took another swig from his glass, in hopes of being relieved from the images his mind was forming.

The girl was whispering something to him now and a smirk began to form upon Niall’s face. He nodded to her before turning back to Harry, who was looking intently at Louis, and Louis, who was trying to avoid Harry’s gaze whilst desperately wanting to look at him, and said, just enough for the boys to hear, ‘well, you guys have fun yeah? Barbara wants to dance.’ He winked and followed the girl, whose name apparently was Barbara, out of the kitchen.

‘He’s getting laid,’ Harry commented nonchalantly, and Louis finally mustered the strength to look at him, only to find him grinning around the rim of some sort of glass containing some sort of (was it pink, or was Louis just already pissed beyond belief?) liquid.

‘You say it like it happens often,’ Louis surely deserved an award for how his tone of voice was managing not to portray how much he wanted to get all up in Harry’s personal space. He was damn proud of himself.

‘He likes to party, I suppose,’ Harry answered, shrugging a shoulder and he was just so broad and _fuck_. Louis wasn’t sure whether coming here was the best or worst decision he had ever made. Perhaps both. Louis was also willing to ignore that Harry’s response didn’t do much to answer his question; he was willing to deal with it in favour of watching the way Harry smiled at him.

A part of him was still hoping that maybe Niall wouldn’t be the only one getting some action tonight but hey, the night was still young. Alternatively, Louis probably needed to stop allowing his mind to jump to such hopes.

Maybe he was just drunker than he thought.

There was another problem at hand – it suddenly occurred to him that he really needed a wee. His bladder was threatening to release piss all over the place and, well, that wouldn’t be fun for anyone. Especially himself, standing next to Harry and all.

‘I am terribly sorry,’ Louis began, ‘but would you be so kind as to direct me to the loo, I really need to release my bladder before it bursts.’ He was possibly quite definitely a bit more drunk than he anticipated.

Harry fucking _giggled_ before grabbing Louis by the arm and leading him out of the room. Louis sincerely hoped that Harry wasn’t actually planning on going _in_ to the bathroom with him because, yes, he was up for many things, but maybe peeing while his (Louis would hate to say _crush_ because he associated that word with 13 year old girls in pink dresses and blonde hair, for some reason) _object of interest_ (ah yes, much better) watched wasn’t one of them.

He was relieved to find this wouldn’t be the case as they walked back out into the hallway and Harry pointed to a door at the end of it, ‘that’s the bathroom,’ he said, smile bright as ever, letting his hand drop from Louis’ arm, causing Louis to look down at it sadly for a good five seconds, missing the casual contact. Okay, he was quite tipsy at this point.

‘Thanks, mate,’ he said, giving Harry’s arm a pat and placing what was left of his pint – admittedly, not much – in his outstretched hand, before strutting off in the pointed direction with as much dignity as he could muster, and he could only imagine how horrific it probably looked, but whatever. He had greater problems at hand, and he really needed to get to the damn bathroom before he had an accident in the middle of the corridor.

Much to his relief, there was no snogging couples in the toilet, so once he released his bladder, he chanced a glance in the mirror; he was looking a tad bit dishevelled, but nothing major, so once he was done washing his hands and making faces at his reflection, he pushed the door open once more and walked out, adapting a fearless little shimmy to his hips to the beat of the loud music.

A glance in the kitchen – which now seemed to be quite empty, which was just fucking typical, as it wasn’t when he and Harry were in there not ten minutes earlier – told him that Harry was not in there anymore, so Louis set out to explore.

There was a staircase, but Louis knew better than to go upstairs. The last thing he needed right now was to walk in on someone being blown or _worse_. His mind retreated to Harry mentioning that Niall was getting laid. Louis shivered and turned away from the stairs. Maybe he would visit upstairs another day.

If he was ever invited back, that is.

He stood and pondered over that for a few minutes and began to feel like an absolute twat, so his gaze travelled to the open door on the opposite side of the corridor, which lead to a room that now seemed to hold the whole party. He could vaguely see flickering lights and heard a hum of voices above the noise of the banging music, and maybe that’s what caught his interest as he began shuffling towards the source of the commotion.

He had a clear view of the room now, which basically contained most of the people from the kitchen earlier as well as other unfamiliar faces, grinding on each other in the middle of the floor – the basic party scene. Louis idly wondered how Niall knew so many people, but then again everyone was eager for a party most of the time, and Niall was bubbly and charismatic, so perhaps it didn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone.

Louis shuffled along the wall and into a spot near the right corner that gave him a better view. He had an excuse for seeking Harry from the crowd; he didn’t know anyone else here, besides Niall, who indeed seemed to be gone altogether. Louis scanned the crowd carefully – well as carefully as possible, in his slightly intoxicated state – and his eyes finally landed on a familiar mop of brown, curly hair and that (somehow familiar now) smile.

Harry wasn’t alone though. Next to him – and a bit too close for Louis’ liking – stood a slightly taller man, sporting some kind of ridiculous, ten-fucking-foot-tall quiff and a fucking jacket – honestly? A jacket inside? Louis was burning up in a t-shirt alone – and clearly telling Harry something _hilarious_ , if Harry’s dimpled grin was any indication.

Louis stood and watched, mentally grimacing, yet refusing to go over because _why was it any of his business anyway_. He wasn’t about to interrupt the clearly _marvellous_ conversation Harry and friend were having just because of some stupid possessive glitch in his tipsy brain.

And so he watched as Harry’s obnoxiously hipster companion leaned down to whisper something in Harry’s ear and, nonchalance be damned, Louis was walking over to them. Niall might’ve been getting lucky upstairs, but there was no way Louis would allow himself to watch Harry get dragged off too as he watched.

Fortunately, Harry spotted Louis as he drew nearer and the smile on his face made Louis feel victorious – he was practically ready to stick his middle finger up Quiff Hipster Guy’s ass from the satisfaction. But he wasn’t particularly eager to go anywhere the man’s anus, and besides, he had a conversation to interrupt, so.

Harry was still beaming at him which was probably what caused Quiffy to turn around and give Louis a very obvious once-over, and the already limited respect Louis had for him had at that point reached an all time low as Louis was overcome by the desire to puke on the guy’s pretentious face. Honestly, the guy looked, like, forty.

So after rolling his eyes, Louis smiled back at Harry as he saw what Harry’s outstretched hand was holding. He took the remains of his hand gratefully from Harry, who was obviously an angel, coming down from Heaven to brighten Louis’ life and hold his pints while he pees.

‘You’re an angel,’ Louis told him, and awarded himself bonus points for subtle flirting as Hipster Asshole over on the right of him watched.

Harry shook his head but was still smiling and grabbed Louis’ arm to pull him into his side before announcing, ‘This is my friend Louis.’

Louis reluctantly tore his gaze from Harry to instead accompany his fake smile with a glare in Quiffy Pal’s general direction.

Harry continued, ‘Louis, this is Nick,’

Louis wasn’t going to ask Harry to elaborate, because he was done with this Nick and his arrogant quiff and fucking _jacket_ , but he managed a nod of the head because he was clearly the better person here.

‘Didn’t know partying with twinks was your new hobby, Styles,’ came Nick’s response, fully confirming Louis’ initial perceptions of his persona and now he wanted nothing more than to rip that ridiculous fucking _mountain_ off his head.

‘Quite charming for a seemingly pretentious character, isn’t he?’ Louis responded, smile still stretching his lips uncomfortably. He was definitely the better person here. And honestly, Harry had some weird taste in friends (or boyfriends, Louis thought with dread).

The boy in question looked quite amused. ‘Alright boys, don’t get nasty,’ Harry teased, poking them both in the side and they simultaneously groaned in fond annoyance. The parallels were starting to piss Louis off real bad. He downed the remainder of his beer before dramatically motioning down to it, which successfully caught Harry’s attention.

‘Do you want to get another drink?’ Harry asked, glancing down at the empty glass. Louis nodded and he may or may not have been pouting, just a little. ‘Let’s go get us another drink, then.’

‘Don’t do anything dirty in the kitchen whilst I’m still here, honey,’ Louis heard Nick’s voice above the boom of the bass as he and Harry retreated to the kitchen and was unfortunately unable to control the spill of profanities falling quietly from his lips, but Harry obviously didn’t hear him above the noise, so maybe it was okay. He glanced up to find Harry turning round and smiling fondly though, so maybe it wasn’t okay at all.

‘You should really try to control your boyfriend,’ Louis commented as they stepped into the better-lit kitchen, which was completely deserted by now, people still in the other room dancing or upstairs fucking.

‘Not my boyfriend,’ Harry said, that same amused smile as earlier making its way back onto his face and now it looks like Louis cares and _oh my god it’s even worse than it seems because he truly does._

Louis cleared his throat, watching as Harry poured them both a glass of whiskey and coke. ‘He seems to think otherwise,’ He murmured, more to his tipsy self than to Harry, but he seemed to have heard if his now wide smile was anything to judge by.

Harry shook his head once as he handed Louis his drink, and well, that was the end of that.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again my tumblr is harryboutno and I'd appreciate some feedback guyyyyyys


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am updating again because I vaguely remember mentioning I will try to be more regular with updates and I try to stick to promises.   
> Enjoy, my lovely people

It must have been the early hours of the morning when Louis finally stumbled into his flat, blindly making his way around in the dark as to not wake Zayn as he would never hear the end of it – Zayn was strangely good at inventing murder techniques when he was awoken.

Louis would know from that one time that he attempted making himself a breakfast a little more ambitious than cereal and ended up tragically burning it and before he knew it, there was smoke everywhere and the smoke alarm was beeping like a bitch and Zayn was manically running in with a fire extinguisher whilst threatening to beat Louis to the ground with it at the same time.

It was about 1pm, and Louis was planning on sharing the breakfast, but who needs best friends anyway. Or life itself for that matter. It was whatever, really.

Fast forward three months, Louis was wiser now as he tip-toed drunkenly through the quiet flat whilst smiling like the biggest idiot.

He walked with Harry most of the way home when it turned out they were headed in the same direction, and he was pretty sure he was grinning like a lunatic through most of it, but he couldn’t care any less right now.

He managed to successfully walk into his bedroom and close the door, and if he didn’t trip up over that one cable on his way to his bed, he would call it a proper success. Now, it was more of a slightly failed success, but still a success nonetheless, considering his state.

Louis liked to think he was a happy drunk. Intoxication usually resulted with delayed speech and lazy smiles for him, and he was quite glad for it. It was better than them awfully violent people that shoved you up against walls and shit when you asked where the bathroom was.

He sighed contentedly as he fell into bed at last, kicking off his shoes and awkwardly struggling out of his jeans as he laid there, foregoing any other activity in the favour of sleep. He twisted and turned to the left and manoeuvred his body until he was completely submerged by the covers. His grunt of displeasure was loud in the otherwise silent room as his phone vibrated from somewhere on the floor, but he decided to roll over to grab it anyways, steadying himself by grabbing the bedside table with one hand and reaching around blindly with the other. His palm met his discarded jeans and he realised that it must be where he put his phone earlier, or he hoped so anyway, otherwise he was going to just give up looking and go the fuck to sleep because he was _exhausted._ It seemed that luck was with him yet again, though, as he finally managed to get the device out of one of the back pockets and he must have hit a button accidentally in the process of fumbling around, as he was momentarily blinded by the light coming off the screen. He was too drunk for this, and he was sure he was going to absolutely _slaughter_ whoever decided to text him at this time of night-

Except that as his eyes adjusted, he saw Harry’s name above the message and he nearly puked with excitement.

He rushed to unlock the phone so he could see the message in full and was once again overcome by affectionate nausea.

‘ _Sweet dreams, Lou.x’_

Yes, it was only three words – and not the kind of three words that you’d normally associate with the way Louis was suddenly gasping for breath – but they mattered a lot.

Because they said goodbye about fifteen minutes ago and there was no importance to the message. It simply meant Harry must have been thinking about him.

And so after Louis managed to type up a kind-of-legible response, his head met the pillow yet again but this time he was smiling.

As he was drifting off, he hoped his dreams wouldn’t take a confusing route tonight, because he wanted to remain inside this happy illusion that Harry had built for him.

\---

The first thing Louis realised as he stirred himself awake was his surprising lack of hangover.

The second, he could not recall any dreams from last night – not one bit stuck with him to jostle him awake. Not one question was prominent in his brain. No feeling of pressure from uncertainty or scepticism. Nothing. And it felt... refreshing, kind of. It was a change Louis was sure to welcome with open arms.

But it was just one night and Louis happened to be very happy as he fell asleep, so he was going to let it slide without paying much attention to it.

Then he heard giggling from outside his bedroom door. Muffled conversation. Not that there was anything wrong with that; it’s just that Louis was pretty sure he had one flatmate, Zayn, and unless he had officially gone insane from reviewing all those laboratories or something and was speaking to himself, there was someone else currently inside the flat.

See, Louis was quite certain that they never invited anyone over to their flat. Socialising lost its importance somehow when wi-fi was invented.

They called themselves the lone wolves; careless and depending on nobody besides each other.

Well, not really because that would have been a little too lame, even for them.

And so, with a sudden rush of curiosity, Louis swung his legs out of bed and stood up, stumbling a little from the quick movement, and followed the sound of muffled laughter.

Which lead him to the kitchen, where he was just about to make a sarcastic remark, but froze on the spot as he took in the sight before him.

Zayn was stood at the stove, in his boxers, frying something or the other. Louis wouldn’t consider that weird – he and Zayn often spent days sat in front of the telly mostly naked, because apparently a house is only considered a home if you can comfortably slip out of your clothes without holding back.

But there was another person in the room, sat down at the table and grinning in response to whatever Zayn just said. Louis definitely recognised the boy’s brown hair and easy smile; he knew the face.

‘Liam Payne,’ Louis’ lips moved to form the words before his brain could catch up and it sounded more like a question than anything.

‘Louis?!’ Zayn’s body whipped around so quickly that if Louis blinked, he would have surely missed it. Zayn sounded surprised. Louis was confused.

‘Zayn?’ Was the best he could do at a response. He was still stood in the doorway.

‘Louis,’ Zayn repeated, less startled this time, glancing between Louis and Liam. Liam, who was now watching them both with an expression that closely resembled a deer in the headlights.

‘Zayn.’ Something seemed to snap into place in his brain in that moment as he quite embarrassingly shrieked in realisation.

This was just too good.

‘You fucked the laboratory manager?!’ Their state of undress should have given it away immediately.

Because of course, Zayn fancied Liam like fucking crazy, even if he would never admit to it whilst sober, and Louis was probably a bad friend for forgetting.

‘I didn’t think you were home,’ Zayn said, the thrill of being caught settling in his eyes.

‘Yeah, and I didn’t think you were shagging someone as I slept just a room away,’ Louis muttered, shifting his weight to his other leg in over exaggerated exasperation.

Zayn deflated into a seat beside Liam – who was now literally looking almost _guilty_ and this was frankly hilarious.

‘Take a seat, Lou,’ Zayn sighed, pointing to the chair across from them both; Louis followed the instruction without complaint, sinking into the seat in silent wonder.

Contrary to popular belief, Louis didn’t want to venture too far into Zayn’s sexcapades with Liam. ‘I don’t want details Zayn,’ Louis said, ‘If you’re thinking of making some sort of orgy out of this, I’m gonna come straight out and say I’m not interested-’

‘Louis, dear, you came out years ago,’ Zayn said, looking very pleased with himself.

‘Zayn, my lovely, you know I do love your puns but we don’t talk about that,’ Louis replied, shaking his head, both at himself for walking straight into that and at Zayn for picking up on it.

‘So, you got back late,’ Zayn’s gaze scanned Louis’ face expectantly as though hoping Louis wouldn’t notice the subject change.

‘I was at a party, you know how it is,’ Louis said, smirking, ‘nice try, though.’

‘Dammit,’ was Zayn’s reply as he bit into a slice of buttered bread. ‘You remember Liam?’ He gestured to – his friend? With benefits? Colleague? – Liam at his side. Of course Louis remembered Liam. He also happened to forget Liam completely until this morning, unlike Zayn, by the looks of it.

‘Of course, he works at the LTL,’ Louis responded, smiling at Liam politely, because he did have manners, thank you very much. ‘Hey Liam,’

‘Hello,’ Liam said, returning the smile and looking a bit more at ease.

Zayn glanced at Liam and Louis genuinely felt bile coming up as he noticed the _fond_ practically _oozing_ out of his eyes and coating Liam in a thick layer of adoration. Metaphorically, of course.

Perhaps Louis was a bit of a hypocrite. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that this didn’t closely resemble the way he probably acted around Harry, although he liked to think he was a little less transparent than that.

And right now, he was third-wheeling pretty hard.

‘You kept in touch?’ Louis asked, curiosity taking charge of his brain (and mouth, it would seem), addressing them both this time.

‘Kind of,’ Zayn replied, looking at Liam with that same warm smile and Louis looked away as he saw Liam return it; it seemed private, and Louis felt like he was intruding.

Louis hummed in response, because Zayn was so annoyingly _vague_ sometimes and it was hard to match a response to his words.

‘I’m sure you’ll be delighted to hear _we_ will be spending more time at London Toxicology,’ Zayn’s voice cut through the brief silence. Something about his expression told Louis that Liam was still, in fact, oblivious to their mischievous arrangement on Zayn’s first day on the job. Well, Zayn’s mischievous, or cowardly, really, arrangement on his first day.

Which meant Louis would be once again put to the test at performing a job he wasn’t qualified for. Illegally, of course. And for free.

Still, the words were like sunshine on a cloudy day.

This was basically a promise he’d see Harry again, and soon. He could feel his face splitting into a little half-grin and he made a mental note to work on that. Fucking transparency.

And Zayn must have noticed, if the twitch in his left eyebrow was anything to go by. ‘And there it is again,’ he said, ‘that mysterious, fond little smile.’

Well, dammit.

‘Don’t talk to me about fondness, Malik,’ Louis warned, shooting a glance at Liam for good measure. ‘You know nothing.’

Zayn shrugged, grinning smugly. His arrogant nonchalance was just a bit infuriating this morning.

‘You’re right, I don’t,’ Zayn agreed ‘Yet.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, any kind of feedback would be great


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the start of every chapter is literally just me apologising for taking ages to update this and I really am sorry. This is just a filler chapter really, as I've got exams and won't be able to write for a while, but I am planning to write a LOT as soon as that's over, so please be patient. I just feel like there's no point in updating loads if the quality isn't good, and I'm trying to make this as good as possible :)

It was a Monday morning, and Louis was running late.

Louis was running late, which rarely happened; he never usually had any responsibilities to attend to, and it was technically impossible to run late when his only plans for the day consisted of getting groceries and spending the day on the sofa, watching re-runs of Big Bang Theory.

Apparently that wasn’t the case today, though.

Zayn’s return to the LTL meant Louis had to be in attendance. Louis still didn’t understand why he didn’t just _tell_ Liam that Louis was not actually even qualified, seeing as they were fucking and God knows what else. But Louis wasn’t hypocritical enough to judge his best friend’s infatuation as he was no better, it would seem.

Which was another problem.

Louis had not seen Harry since the party. Which was all of eight days ago. Eight long fucking days. His usual dreams full of peculiar questions were now stained with rich green and a stream of light, much like Harry's eyes when they sparkled in the strobe light.

He also wasn’t sure how to act around him, exactly. Yes, he was stupidly smitten and yes, they had only met recently, but Louis considered Harry a friend now. Perhaps keeping the obvious pining to a minimum would help, though.

Louis can pine when he’s alone, in the safety of his bedroom, with his laptop and a pack of tissues. Take that as you will.

Anyhow, he was going to keep his and Harry’s relationship strictly platonic, because it seemed that Harry just wanted a friend, and Louis was going to take him any way he could get him.

So Louis and Zayn made their way across the familiar street again, as Zayn muttered profanities at Louis for waking up late and _for God’s sake Louis, why can I never trust you with things like this_ and _I swear down if I get fired I’m chopping your balls off with that axe from the attic_.

Which was alright, because Louis was fully aware he was a nuisance. Hence he couldn’t help but ask questions as they approached the massive entrance doors.

‘So, why are we here again, exactly?’ He wondered aloud, ‘I mean, you do seasonal inspections, right? I mean _we_ do seasonal inspections, Jesus Christ, why am I ever _here-_ ’

‘Louis, have you heard of trying that thing?’ Zayn interrupted.

Louis was confused, ‘What thing?’

‘You know, that thing. It’s called something like, shutting the fuck up.’ Zayn deadpanned, throwing his cigarette to the ground and blowing out smoke in the way he knew made him look majestic.

‘Well, forgive me for being confused, but you’ve been moaning at me all morning about waking up late and I said I _was sorry_ but I just don’t know what I’m apologising for because I am kind of doing your job for you, or like, at least a third of it.’ Louis whined.

‘Best friends help each other out, yeah?’ Zayn said, and it wasn’t really a question, so Louis didn’t humour him with an answer. He just looked at him with his eyebrows drawn together, so he continued. ‘Liam allowed me to collect material to feature on the website. For the Inspection Company.’ Louis still stared at him blankly. ‘The one I work for?’

Louis couldn’t quite suppress an eye roll. ‘Yeah, I know that, dumbass, it just so happens that I don’t work for it, yet I’m still here with you, shithead.’ He said mildly.

‘That’s because you were brilliant last time, Lou.’ Zayn said. Louis admittedly started to soften. ‘And Liam still thinks you’re my assistant.’

‘Your assistant,’ Louis scoffed, ‘can’t you just tell him during sex, or something, so it takes the pressure off the terrible confession of deceit?’

‘Alright, sarcasm queen,’ Zayn rolled his eyes as they reached the doors, ‘I just haven’t got around to telling him yet. And I could really use the help, despite the fact you’re a nuisance and we’re late as a result of that.’ Zayn almost smiled as he opened the door. ‘After you, princess.’

‘Ugh, fine,’ Louis said, stepping through the door and into the large lobby. Zayn opening the door for him was a grand gesture in itself, and Louis had no fight left in him. ‘But don’t pity me because I haven’t got an actual job, when you drag me here to do yours.’

‘Love you,’ Zayn said, probably in attempt to shut him up.

They were at the desk of the moody receptionist again. ‘Hello, we’re from the Inspection Company,’ Zayn said, which brought Louis back to the first time they came here. Except now, Zayn probably had plans to suck Liam off against his office desk, and Louis was hoping not to faint at the sight of Harry and his ridiculously attractive face. Funny, that.

‘Yeah, down the corridor,’ the grumpy secretary replied, merely looking up at them. ‘Mr Payne is ready for you,’

‘I bet he is,’ Louis said as they made their way across the lobby, earning a smack from Zayn.

‘You aren’t anywhere near as funny as you think you are,’ Zayn commented, walking ahead in what Louis presumed was an attempt to get as far away from him as possible, and this was exactly why Louis needed to get new friends.

Upon arrival at Liam’s office, Louis found himself shuffling awkwardly whilst Liam engaged Zayn in a conversation which didn’t involve either of them actually talking – they just stared at each other, oozing that same _fond_ everywhere yet again, and Louis was third-wheeling so hard he may as well have just rolled straight back out the damn door.

Or, if he was being truly honest with himself, he just really wanted to see Harry. He felt as though he was being pulled towards him; he was so close, only a few doors away, and Louis was suddenly torn between bolting outside to initiate his search for Harry (honestly, Zayn and Liam really weren’t helping) and projectile vomiting all over the carpeted flooring of Liam’s office because he cannot recall when exactly he became so disgustingly _sentimental._

‘Nice to see you both again,’ Liam said, withdrawn from his and Zayn’s creepy stare-off at last, ‘do sit down, Louis.’ He gestured towards the posh-looking armchair just on the side.

‘Thanks,’ Louis had the dignity to return Liam’s polite smile, too, as he plopped down onto the soft fabric of the seat.

‘What exactly do you need today, then?’ Liam asked, looking at Zayn. Louis wondered if this was the part where he’s meant to remove himself from the room, as he saw Zayn’s lips quirk up in a smirk before his expression smoothed out again.

‘Well it does depend on what you’re willing to allow,’ Zayn replied, face painting the picture of innocence. Except, both Liam and (unfortunately) Louis knew what Zayn was implying. It could be argued, though, that he was a work of art, with his cheekbones and all. Innocence was not a personality trait of his, however; Louis idly wondered if this could be classed as art forgery, in the poorest metaphorical sense possible.

Louis shifted uncomfortably in his seat, just as Liam bit his lip, and yep, that same ZaynandLiam private bubble was there again.

‘As much as I appreciate your use of innuendos, boys,’ Louis spoke, unable to handle this any longer. Where was Harry? He needed to see Harry. ‘I’d like to get to work, if the discussion here is over.’ _Lies. Lies, lies, lies, lies._

Fuck it, Louis technically didn’t even work here – pretending to be suddenly invested in any sort of job was the whitest lie of all, given the situation.

Liam’s eyes snapped to Louis, and they were wide, as though he felt bad that he wasn’t as painfully single as Louis. Zayn just stared at him blankly.

‘Oh, Louis, of course!’ Liam exclaimed, ‘You’re free to explore the laboratory in its entirety and collect your material; I take it you know your way around?’

Louis stood up, eager to leave now that a chance of escape arose. ‘Yes, thank you, Liam.’ He said, smiling at him and shuffling to the door. He wiggled his eyebrows at Zayn before he slipped out of the room, not giving him a chance to react.

And now he was faced with that same corridor, but this time he wasn't walking into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, tumblr is harryboutno and I will update after this awful time of exams and stress.x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woooow because I definitely didn't just leave for about 2456765 months  
> Fun fact I actually had half of this chapter written for ages but didn't know how to finish it until today so sorry if it's not very good..  
> Also, I promise this is going somewhere, I just need to get things going first. I want this to be quite long so i can display character development etc  
> Anyways, enjoy

So, once again, there were some things to consider here, as Louis stood before that rather too familiar door. This time, he was missing a clipboard but had a camera strap round his neck and a notebook in his back pocket; yet the scene before him was just the same. Maybe he was a little fucked up, and a little loony over a certain individual, and he tried to make sense of how his life had taken such a quick downward spiral but as always, he was unable to. He was one hundred percent unable to comprehend what on earth was going on with his life.

This kind of felt like a dream, Louis thought. A prolonged one, dragging over weeks now, slowly driving him insane. He couldn’t piece it together, this whole cliché affair that had him standing outside the Lab with a racing heart and sweaty palms. It was almost too familiar, and sort of bittersweet, admittedly, because although Louis may have only known Harry for approximately fifteen days and three hours, he was willing to endure madness for him. It was a bit scary in theory, though Louis wasn’t scared – and that in itself frightened him.

It didn’t even make _sense._

So, he was going mad. Wonderful.

Louis exhaled in attempt to pull himself together and gather his thoughts, before applying pressure to the door handle and opening the door to reveal that same, bright room.

He spotted him immediately; he was leaning over that microscope again, with a thoughtful expression, adjusting the lens, leaning over to note something down, and repeating the process all over again. Louis approached slowly, once again seemingly not giving a shit about anyone else in the room. He vaguely pondered the fact that this was getting out of hand and that he should turn and run as far away as possible, yet once again he was being drawn to Harry – his presence dragging him forward, anchoring him.

That’s how he ended up right in front of Harry, who was still looking down into the microscope, and Louis thought he looked glorious – his hair falling onto his face, lips drawn into a thin line in concentration. Before he knew what he was doing, Louis turned the camera on and snapped a picture. The noise of the shutter seemed to snap Harry’s attention away from the task at hand and he looked up curiously. His eyes lit up and his lips tugged up into a smile.

‘Sorry,’ Louis said sheepishly, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

‘Woah, no cameras please,’ Harry joked, before picking up a pen and noting something down in a notebook beside the microscope.

‘Couldn’t help myself,’ Louis replied, choosing not to dwell on the integrity of his words.

‘I don’t blame you,’ Harry flipped his hair in a hyperbolic manner.

Louis rolled his eyes. ‘Alright, curly, get your head out of your arse.’ His smile remained in place as Harry giggled.

‘Interesting choice of words,’ Harry said, wiggling his actual butt and laughing at himself and he was such an _idiot_ and Louis was such an idiot _too_ because he somehow found Harry’s little quirks endearing.

‘What can I say, I choose my words wisely.’ Louis shot back.

‘That’s quite ironically controversial.’ Harry pondered.

‘That doesn’t even make _sense_ , Harold.’

‘That isn’t even my _name_ , Louis.’

Louis couldn’t help but smile again at their easy banter. They didn’t even need to try, it just kind of happened.

‘It should be.’ Louis shrugged.

Harry shook his head, still grinning like a mad man. ‘What brings you here again, then?’ He asked after a few beats.

‘The correct question would be _who_ brings me here, though I don’t oppose degrading Zayn to an object.’

Harry let out another laugh, opening up the heavens with the sweet sound. Louis had seen the light.

‘So you’re still cheating the system, then.’ Harry stated.

‘Fuck the system.’ Louis responded and they shared another chuckle.

‘Styles, quit flirting and get back to work!’ Louis heard the familiar Irish accent before he even saw Niall, who was sat on a stool, obnoxiously smacking his lips together as he chewed gum. Harry rolled his eyes at the comment, but looked back down into the microscope nevertheless.

Louis blushed a little but covered it up with a comment that he hoped would project just the right amount of nonchalance. ‘Nice to see you too, Niall.’

Niall nodded in acknowledgement, smiled widely and continued chewing.

‘Niall, can you bring in the blood samples please?’ Harry addressed him, stepping away from the microscope and gesturing for Louis to follow him across the room. Niall hopped up from his stool and produced a fresh pair of gloves from his lab coat pocket. With clear expertise, he put one on each hand before scurrying off in the other direction and out the room. Louis blinked and turned back to Harry, who was watching him curiously.

Now that his body wasn’t partially hidden behind a table, Louis took a few seconds to take in his tall form, all thin hips and broad shoulders. Louis thought Harry was a rare specimen of the small group of people in this world that looked truly _good_ in their work uniform. Louis couldn’t imagine Harry anywhere else; his white lab coat hugged his body in all the right places, making him look even taller somehow. Perhaps he just looked good in white.

Louis didn’t know how long he stood there staring at him. At this point he didn’t care, either.

He did manage to move across the room towards him at last, though, and even flipped his notebook open in the process.

Harry spoke up just as he was trying to get the cap off his pen. ‘Like what you see?’ He regretted looking up as soon as he saw Harry’s pretty smirk.

‘Nah, Niall isn’t really my type.’ Louis responded jokingly, causing Harry’s smirk to grow into a full-blown grin.

‘What _is_ your type?’ Harry wondered.

_You._

‘I’m not comfortable with disclosing this kind of information.’ Louis mused, a smile tugging at his lips as he saw Harry nod mock-seriously.

Harry sighed. ‘Well then, I’m inclined to believe you have the hots for Niall.’

Niall appeared back in the room. Or, more specifically, in front of them, holding two zip-locked bags with a number of tubes filled with red liquid inside. So those were the blood samples, then.

‘I guess my secret’s out..’ Louis sighed deeply.

‘What secret?’ Niall enquired as Harry took the bags from him and began emptying them of their contents in a gentle manner.

‘Louis is mildly attracted to your sweet accent and mad nibbling habits,’ Harry informed him, dimples displaying his pleasure to tease Louis. If it wasn’t for those damned dimples, Louis would probably master up the ability to be angry; unfortunately, as it was, he was too weak and too sexually frustrated.

Niall quirked an eyebrow, clearly amused.

‘It’s true.’ Louis went along with it, because a little banter never killed nobody. ‘Who could resist the charm oozing out of you?’

‘Tell me something I don’t know.’ Niall replied, twirling imaginary long hair round his finger.

‘Won’t be the only thing oozing out if you two continue this conversation,’ Harry commented, flicking one of the blood-filled tubes.

‘You’re right, you might want to be careful with that tube,’ Niall’s come back came immediately.

At this point, Louis had managed to finally get the lid off his pen and decided that maybe he should actually begin gathering material, though he would probably much rather just stand there and admire Harry’s various facial expressions.

‘So, what are you investigating?’ Louis asked.

‘We’re testing bodily fluids to estimate the cause of death.’ Harry informed him whilst inserting the test tube into a slot and connecting it to the machine.

Louis snapped another picture of the spectacle. ‘Bodily fluids, you say.’ He murmured, writing down the newfound information.

Harry chuckled. ‘Yeah, bodily fluids.’ He confirmed. ‘Blood mostly, because we suspect carbon monoxide poisoning.’

Louis hummed as though he understood the reasoning behind the statement.

Harry began pressing buttons on the machine that the tubes were connected to; Louis watched as the numbers on the display changed and Harry once again began noting the results down.

‘Just like I thought.’ Harry mused a short while later, as he put his pen down.

‘What’s happened?’ Louis tried to peek around Harry’s shoulder at what he was writing down.

‘You see this?’ Harry asked, pointing to the display. ‘The numbers indicate a frequency. This particular one falls under the spectrum that identifies with carbon monoxide poisoning.’

Louis nodded, as if he understood. ‘Interesting.’ He mused.

‘Mmm.’ Harry hummed in agreement.

Louis looked down at his notebook. ‘So, is this the kind of thing you do on a daily basis?’ He asked, scribbling away about how skilled the staff was. Honestly, it probably wasn’t the best idea to assign Louis the task of note-taking, when he was bound to be biased.

Though, admittedly, Harry did appear very intelligent, from what Louis had seen.

‘This department mainly deals with sample analysis, yes.’ Harry answered.

'Interesting,' Louis stated again, at a loss for words.

'Yes,' Harry said, smirking to himself as he pulled paper out of the printer. 'Now we send this off, along with an evaluation.'

'Do you have to write an evaluation too?' Louis asked.

'Yeah, though a witness statement is also needed. Just to confirm that I'm not rigging the results or anything.'

'Hmm.' Louis noted down what Harry told him, then snapped a picture of the result sheet. He then, reluctantly, began to gather his things. 'Well, thank you for your time, Harry.'

'My pleasure,' Louis could hear the smile in Harry's voice, and he couldn't help the grin forming on his own face as a result.

And then his brain to mouth filter must have turned off, as he muttered out: 'Maybe you could come over tonight?' and then, faux casually, added, 'With Niall?'

He didn't know why he was still so scared that Harry would reject him, as he had done no such thing to date, but the seconds following his question dragged on and he could feel his mouth drying out.

'I thought that was going somewhere else for a second,' Harry replied at last, 'but yeah, I'll come. I'm sure Niall is up for it, too.'

Louis mentally released a breath. 'Sweet,' He said, smiling as though the newly-made plans didn't excite him greatly, 'Do you need me to text you the address, or...?'

'No, I remember,' Harry assured, smiling back at him. Louis really wanted to stand there for maybe another 25 minutes just staring, but he knew that wasn't appropriate or time-efficient.

He also knew that Harry knew his address, but he was becoming better at acting nonchalant and unaffected by Harry and his unbelievably symmetrical face, it would seem; so he asked anyway, as it seemed like a 'normal' thing to do.

Although 'normal' was quite the controversial word.

'Alright,' Louis said, putting the lid back on his pen. 'I shall see you soon.'

'Goodbye, Lou.' Harry replied, and Louis turned towards the door almost too fiercely, as he couldn't bear the softness of Harry's facial expression any longer.

As he walked out into the long corridor, he felt as though he could finally breathe again.

 


End file.
